Somebody Else
by juliana716
Summary: "You said you'd find someone to take my place; I just don't believe that you have got it in you. 'Cause we are just gonna keep doing it every time.. I don't want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else."


**Part 1**

* * *

**Sela nervously stirred her coffee vaguely aware that she came in too early for the meeting time. She took off the sunglasses she's wearing as her eyes looked down on the newspaper she brought with her.**

_Runway Model Abby Trinidad and Commercial Model Rans Rifol from Ledom Agency casually came out with a greeting for their 1st anniversary as a couple on Instagram!_

**She and Abby were under 48G Modeling Agency prior to the latter transferring to Ledom over a year ago. Because of various reasons.**

**She sipped her coffee cup and took out her phone checking out the post she had seen a hundred times since yesterday. **

**When she read the news article yesterday, she almost laughed thinking it was another hoax, but when she visited their Instagram account, it was really there.**

**In Abby's post, there is a picture of Rans with a short caption of ****_365 of happy days with you. Happy first. I love you. _**

**While in Rans is a black and white picture of them with a caption of ****_Gay for you. Always. I love you._**

**Sela sighed, feeling a bit frustrated. Why is she even mad about this? She and Abby are history. If you can even call it that.**

_A little over two years ago.._

While mindlessly watching TV, Sela is sitting on Abby's lap with the other girl's hands wrapped around her.

"Don't you get tired of hiding all the time?" Sela heard Abby asked as she wrapped her arms tighter around her.

Sela blinked and sighed. They have been through this conversation way too many times before. "Abby," she said, getting off Abby's lap taking a seat next to her instead and seriously looking at her girl. "You know we can't do that," she said, "We're in a difficult time in our careers,"

Abby sighed and rolled her eyes, "Ugh, seriously, Sela? You've been saying that for three years. There are a lot of successful models who are out of the closet,"

This made Sela frown, "Why is this coming up again?" she asked instead. "Is this because of Faith?" hearing the mentioned name, Abby blinked.

It is normal culture that models that are from the same agency are seen together often, so people tend to _ship _them together. She and Abby are shipped together, since they both started—one of the reasons how they manage to hide for as long as they do. However recently, Sela is being ship with Faith who is also one of the models in 48G.

"Yes," Abby answered, bowing her head. "I just think that you and Faith better fit together, plus your mom actually likes her,"

She closed her eyes and exhaled, she turned away from Abby and leaned her back on the sofa. With her hands covering her eyes, she asked, "Isn't actually being together enough?"

She was aware that she had been very difficult in regards to this relationship, but she came from a very conservative family and she is not sure how they will react about her sexuality-she herself haven't really grasped the reality of what she has with Abby.

Abby knows this and had been very understanding, but maybe she's approaching the end of her patience, it has been three years after all.

She heard Abby sigh before she felt the girl's hand pulling her hands off her face. "Alright," she said, "I'm sorry," she continued, holding her hand then kissing them.

As she watched Abby's face closing in on her, guilt filled Sela's heart. When Abby's lips touched hers, she hoped her girlfriend doesn't taste the guilt in her mouth. She knows she's basically gaslighting Abby but she didn't want to come out yet, and she also didn't want to lose Abby.

...

**"Hey," Sela turned up and was a bit surprised seeing Abby smiling brightly at her. "Long time," she said as she sat down in front of her.**

**She had always loved seeing Abby in casual wear. She's wearing a simple brown shirt, her white shorts made her legs look longer and the gladiator sandals she's wearing also complimented the outfit. The brown cap she's wearing is probably to try and hide herself from the public.**

**She knew her smile was stiff, she feels how frozen her mouth is. What is she even so nervous about?**

**"So," she started stiffly.**

**"I guess you heard,"  
"-I heard the news," **

**They said at the same time. This made them both laugh.**

**Sela was the first to recover, she had a moment and watched how Abby laughed carelessly and she realized how much she missed this girl in front of her.**

_Still two years ago.._

"My mom had been asking me questions," Sela suddenly said. Her secret girlfriend looked at her, looking very worried.

"What does that mean?" Abby asked.

A bit frustrated and irritated, she looked at Abby, "It means we should tone it down," the wounded look on Abby's face made her weak, so she said her next words a bit softer, "Maybe we get out of the spotlight, should jump on the new ship wagon?" she suggested.

Abby blinked, "Are you serious?" she asked, almost scoffing.

Aside from Sela being shipped with Faith, people had been shipping Abby to somebody else, too, to a new commercial model, Rans Rifol who just signed a contract with 48G.

Instead of answering, Sela gave Abby a look—who still looks hesitant with the idea. So she switched strategies, and gave her girlfriend a puppy dog eyes. "Come on, baby," she said, pouting.

"_Ayesh,_" Abby exclaimed, "No fair,"

Sela smirked, "You're the best," she said, playfully locking her arm around the girl's neck and lightly kissing her lips.

The blush on Abby's face was slight, but it was evident. "Why are you being so sweet? Who are you and what did you do to my Sela?" the girl asked playfully.

She ignored the sudden heat that pooled on her cheeks hearing her girlfriend say her name with possession, and tighten her hold on her girl, "What? You don't want me being sweet?" she asked as playfully, loving this moment.

Then the room echoed their giggles before the walls heard soft sounds of lips kissing.

…

**When Abby stopped laughing, there was a remnant of a smile on her face as she looked at her curiously.**

**Sela felt the air became heavier and she was a little more afraid on how this will turn out. Before she opened her mouth to say something, Abby beat her to it.**

**"God, I missed you," Abby said casually.**

**She composed herself before truthfully saying, "I missed you, too. I missed this,"**

**Though there's a smile on her face, Abby looked melancholic, "You look beautiful, Sela." she almost forgot how innate it was for Abby to say what's on her mind. And she's now easily reminded how that used to make her feel.**

**"I—" she started to say but then Abby suddenly looked down on her phone as a notification dinged.**

**Sela watched as a full smile graced her former lover's lips and realized how that made her heart unhappy.**

_Two years ago.._

"It's nothing!" Sela paced around her room as she talked to her mom on the phone.

Her mom called her about a picture someone sent to her. It was an old candid picture of Abby sitting on her lap and her resting her head between the girl's neck and shoulder, their faces almost touching.

"It doesn't look like nothing," her mom said.

"Mom, I told you, it's nothing! Besides, it's an old picture," she said, frustrated, "Who even sent you that anyway?"

"It doesn't matter," her mom said, "I told you a long time ago, avoid being close to that girl,"

Sela groaned, "Mom, she's my freaking roommate, how can I avoid her?" she asked, "Why do you even hate her so much anyway?"

"Watch your language, young lady," she rolled her eyes, she's 23 and her mom still filters her language, "I told you before, you should've requested to switch rooms," her mom said, "That girl, she's very brass, and I've heard rumors about her being a wild child and her homosexuality," Sela gulped. "I just want you to be safe," she decided to disregard that last comment.

"Mom," she called, "I don't want to give an impression of being a diva by requesting to switch rooms,"

"That's why _I_ have already requested that for you," her mom declared. She was about to protest when she mom beat her to it, "..and you don't want to seem like a diva by sending out another request, do you?"

She sighed loudly, frustrated, she really hates her mom when she does things like this.

…

"Why did you even suggest this if you'd just act like..like _this_?!" hearing that, Sela glared at Abby. "Sela, you, of all people know _that's _what we signed up for when we jumped into the shipping bandwagon when _you_ suggested that! You're being unreasonably difficult right now,"

She knew Abby had a point, but that doesn't mean she won't feel anything about it. Especially knowing that Rans is.. "But.." she started to trail off.

"—But what?!" an annoyed Abby cut her off. "You don't ever hear me say anything about you and Faith!" frustrated, she put her palms on her face.

"That's different! Faith and I are just friends—" she started to say but it seems like it was the wrong thing to say since Abby now looked more pissed as she cut her off again.

"—and Rans and I aren't?!" she yelled.

Sela looked at Abby and sighed, breaking off eye contact, "You don't understand," she said walking away and taking a seat on the bed.

"Then let me understand!"

She looked at Abby heatedly. Abby doesn't understand half of what she's going through right now. With Abby being shipped to Rans, she's feeling all the more insecure about their relationship.

Rans broke in to the biz because of her beautiful face, but her candidness made her stick. Along with this casualness, the girl is not automatically labeled as _straight _and loosely known for being fluid. And unlike her, Rans' family doesn't seem to have an issue about her sexuality.

She knows for a fact that Abby is ready to come out anytime, and she's putting unwanted pressure on herself deciding that Rans actually likes Abby like _that. _She accidentally heard the former somehow admit that to the other girls.

She looked at her girlfriend tiredly, she feels sorry for Abby for having her as a girlfriend, she and her label issues, "Aren't you tired with this, Abby?" she asked. Said girl blinked, maybe confused by the sudden change of her tone.

Suddenly, Abby was calm again, "Sela..what really is wrong?"

She looked up at Abby's worried eyes and felt her heart ache. She loves this girl so much. "I just realized that if you love someone like Rans, you wouldn't be this frustrated right now."

Abby looked surprised, "What.." she took a seat next to Sela on the bed, "Sela, baby, what are you saying?" she asked softly, "You know I love you, right?"

Sela shook her head once, "I think we need a break," she declared. "My mom, she sent out a request for me to switch rooms,"

"That doesn't have to change anything," Abby said.

She shook her head, feeling her eyes pool, "Don't you see, Abby?" she asked, "We're only together inside of this room's walls." she said, "No one knows about us except _us,_"

The look on Abby's eyes reflected her own heartbreak, "Sela.."

"I feel like I'm holding you off of whoever you wanted to become,"

…

**"Baby?"Sela snapped out of reminiscing and almost responded to Abby's voice. The disappointment was heavy on her upon seeing the girl on her phone and the girl in front of her didn't even notice her split second confusion. "Yeah," Abby's eyes found hers before answering, "I'm just meeting a friend,"**

**It was her who broke off the eye contact. She didn't like to look at Abby as she talked to her ****_girlfriend. _**

**However, it wasn't even three seconds later when her head turned to Abby again because of how loud she said, "No!" eyes again meeting, the girl looked slightly flustered, "I mean, no, you wouldn't want to, you don't know her," she continued saying, reverting her eyes away from her, "Yes, yes. I will." then chuckled, "Of course." she said with a serene smile, "I love you, too, baby. Bye," she said with a smile.**

**"Was that Rans?" she asked, and it seems like Abby temporarily forgot her presence because she now looked embarrassed hearing her ask that.**

**Eyes away from hers, Abby answered, "Yeah,"**

**"Did you just lie to her about meeting me?" **

**Abby is visibly embarrassed, "Well.." she trailed off, "She knows about ****_us. _****I don't want ****_this_**** to cause problems." she said, "This thing with Rans..I.. I don't wanna mess it up,"**

…

"Sela, if looks could kill, Abby probably dropped dead by now," Sela looked up and saw Faith looking at her weirdly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, feigning innocence.

Faith rolled her eyes before answering, "You have been shooting daggers at the girl since they sat there," the girl said, "Did you and Abby had a fight?"

The question made Sela alarmed, "Why would you ask that?" she asked, secretly peeking at Abby and Rans whispering to each other.

They are in a birthday party for one of the executives of the agency and she had been looking at Abby and Rans who looks so mushy since they arrived.

Her friend eyed her weirdly, "Well, isn't Abby your best friend? And she had been hanging out with Rans since you switched rooms, so did you guys had a fight?"

"Something like that," she answered vaguely. They didn't exactly have a fight per se, but they _did_ break up. That ought to change something between , she can't tell Faith that, so she avoided eye contact and started to sip her drink.

She heard Faith click her tongue few times and shook her head slowly, "So that's why she looked for a new girlfriend and now you're jealous,"

Sela suddenly choked on her drink.

…

A sudden knock surprised Sela, Faith was away for the weekend and she was not expecting any visitors. Opening the door and seeing the face on the other side, surprised her even more.

"Abby?" she asked in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" she questioned, looking behind her.

The girl in question looked confused, "I wanted to hang out with you," she said, "We're still friends, aren't we?"

"Funny you said that," Sela said as she opened her door wider, wordlessly inviting Abby to come in. She's still confused and weirded out by this sudden visit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Abby asked, looking at her as she took a seat on the sofa.

Sela looked at Abby for a moment, still wondering how peculiar the girl is acting. "Well, it's been two months and now you suddenly felt like continuing the 'we're friends' BS we did before," she said, suddenly remembering how pissed she is at Abby for continuing being chummy with Rans.

She watched as Abby blinked by her sudden jab. "I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have come here," the girl said, standing up.

Suddenly, Sela felt panicked, "Wait, no," she said, abruptly realizing she didn't want Abby to leave just yet. "_I'm _sorry, I shouldn't have said that," she said, shaking her head, taking a seat next to the girl.

Silence reigned. The thick awkwardness was palpable.

They are now avoiding each other's eyes. Sela suddenly find the fibers of her carpet interesting and Abby's eyes were roaming around the room.

"Nice room, by the way, very neat." Abby suddenly said, "My new roommate, Lara," she continued saying, "She's nice and all, but kinda untidy," she finished with a laugh.

Hearing Abby laugh, Sela felt somehow more relaxed. "Says you," she said playfully. Then suddenly remembering basic host etiquette, she added. "Oh, sorry, did you want something to drink?" Abby didn't have a chance to answer when she started asking, "Water? Coffee?" she started to ask, feeling more comfortable with how Abby is smiling at her, "Tea? Or me—" her eyes suddenly widen realizing what she was saying.

For a second, they just looked at each other before they burst out laughing.

This is the moment Sela realized she missed being with Abby. She can be casual and candid.

"I missed this," Abby suddenly said, "I missed _you,_" she added, eyes full of sincerity.

The warm feeling she felt in her heart was nice.

"I missed you, too, dummy," she said. "So stop flirting with Rans,"

Abby's eyes widen at the sudden accusation, "I'm _not _flirting with Rans!"

"_Uh-huh,_" she said, with dead eyes.

"It's true! We're just friends!" she's still looking at Abby with dead eyes, which probably triggered the next action, "If I was flirting with Rans.." Abby started to say, slowly crawling to her side of the sofa, Sela vaguely register Abby's familiar perfume assaulting her senses, "..it would be like _this_," she said face inches away from her with a knee-weakening smirk.

As much as she loves her usual sweet cinnamon roll Abby, she absolutely loves it when _this _Abby comes out.

Maybe it was that smirk, maybe Abby's perfume or maybe she just misses her girl so much that she let go of all her inhibitions and moved her head forward meeting Abby's mouth.

…

"It seems like you and Abby made out," Sela tensed hearing Faith's voice from the couch and blushed at the first thought that flashed through her mind with Faith's choice of words and being guiltily reminded what she did on the same couch the day before.

They heard Jan, Faith's friend—who's hanging out in their room—laugh. "_Pfft, _made out," she said before crackling again.

"Wait, was that wrong?" Faith suddenly wondered to herself.

"Feito, I think you meant made _up, _not made _out_," Jan explained, still laughing.

"_Sheesh, _it's the same thing,"

"_Nah-uh, _Sela and Abby had a fight, so if they're good now, it means they made _up, _but if they made _out, _that's a _totally_ different story,"

Throughout the conversation, Sela avoided looking at the two, thankful that Faith and Jan was distracted bantering to notice her blush or how agitated she is.

It wasn't because she's guilty or anything, she and Abby _didn't _make out when they made up. They just kissed. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing.

Suddenly someone knocked at the door and Jan was quick to open it, seeing Abby looking as gorgeous as ever, Sela felt her heart swoon, "Well, I guess we don't need to ask,"

With the biggest grin, Sela immediately stood up, "Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked, "We don't have any plans, do we?"

Abby shook her head, "No, I just dropped by to give you this," she said handing out a milktea take out. "See yah," she bid, grinning brightly.

"_Aww, _that's sweet," Faith said, "No wonder you were so pissy when you two are not in good terms,"

Sela awkwardly smiled, "Yeah,"

"That's really sweet," Jan suddenly said, she turned to look at the girl who is eyeing her. Sela felt scrutinized with how the girl is looking at her suspiciously.

...

**"So..you and Rans.. how did that happen?"**

**Sela watched as Abby looked up to her from stirring her frappe. A slightly embarrassed look brushed her face before answering. "I actually don't know how to answer that,"**

**Frowning, Sela leaned in closer, "What does that supposed to mean?"**

**Abby paused, "****_Hmm,_****" she said, hands connecting to her chin thoughtfully. "I think it just kinda happened," she explained, "When I transferred to Ledom, I had a hard time fitting in," Sela nodded, knowing Abby's tendency to be a loner with her introversion, "..but you probably know that.. and you also know that Rans transferred few months after I did,"**

**Yes, she knows that story, she clenched her hand under the table confirming what she thought all along.**

…

Sela slapped away the hand that's trying to intertwine with hers under the table knowing it was Abby's. They're in a media con for a widespread magazine cover they did. It's also a promo for her debut acting gig.

She kinda felt bad but she needs her focus on the press. She didn't want any distraction and Abby proved time and again that she can distract her easily.

It seems like Abby got the signal and behaved.

Few moments later, Justin, the actor that Sela is paired with_, surprisingly _dropped by to say hi. Truth is everyone knows he'll be there but everyone acted surprised for the press.

As what instructed, she acted surprised and blushing with the gesture. The delighted faces of the press people made her think she was doing a good job. But seeing Abby's barely concealed disappointed face was frustrating her.

In actual time, the media con only lasted 42 minutes but Sela felt it was longer than that. Since she rejected the hand holding earlier, Abby had been acting_ professional _with her. Polite smiles before turning away. It was okay, she supposed, but then again, she's acting extra chummy with Rans!

"So what's wrong? You have been in a bad mood since the media con ended," Abby asked upon closing the door.

Sela had been crashing in Abby's room for a week since Lara went home to the province for a vacation.

She looked at Abby with narrowed eyes. "You're really asking me that?" Abby shrugged wearing an innocent face.

"Is this about Rans?" the girl asked, "You know we're a 'ship' right now, right?" she paused then added, "If you actually get to know her, you'd know that Rans is really cool,"

"She's really cool," she mimicked maturely which made Abby chuckle. "I really don't like her, she's really annoying," she said.

"Whatever did Rans do to make you think she's annoying?" Abby asked, "—well aside from stealing food all the time—even when you're seconds away from putting it in your mouth?" she added like an afterthought.

"She's—" Sela started to say, but then absorbed Abby's words, "Wait, she what?"

Abby must've read something on her face, "Baby, she's like that to everyone," that didn't make her feel better, no, not at all. "_Awe, _are you actually jealous? That's really cute,"

"Don't start with me, Abelaine. I just don't like to share," she said. She seriously needs Rans to back off. She looked up and saw Abby's face with a weird looking smile. Sela felt teased so, e_h, that's it, _she thought as she allowed herself to headlock Abby.

Abby's complaints and their giggles filled the room, this made her mood a little better. This room, like it was once before, is again a mute witness to how happy she could be with Abby.

Both of their hyper moods were tamed the moment their eyes met, and when Abby dropped her eyes to her mouth, a whole different mood was felt. When Abby's face slowly leaned onto her direction, Sela didn't hesitate leaning over, too. The kiss was slow and ended sweet, leaving a smile on both of their faces.

Moments later, they found themselves settled down with Sela's head on Abby's lap, Sela got thinking. She supposes that Abby doesn't really see what she sees in Rans' intentions. But she can _feel _the girl really has _a thing _with her girl.

She then felt Abby's hand starting to play with her hair and it was so soothing, her eyes suddenly felt droopy. She was about to fall asleep when she heard Abby's soft voice asking, "Do you really need to fake a relationship with that Justin guy?"

Sleepiness gone, Sela exhaled heavily, with closed her eyes, she hated talking about this with Abby. "'By, we're not faking a relationship," she answered, "We're only hyping up the people but we will never admit anything about being in a relationship,"

Modeling and Showbiz may both be in the limelight but there's a huge difference on how to stay on top.

She felt Abby's hand stopped and she felt a little disappointed. "That also means you can't be in a relationship or even associated remotely romantic with anyone, right?" Abby asked, disappointment clear on her voice.

"I'm sorry, Abby," she said, starting to sit upright on the couch facing the said girl, "..but this is my dream, you'll support me with this, right?"

She can easily read the look of tiredness on her girl's face but nevertheless, Abby nodded as gave her a smile. She quickly leaned on her girl giving her a quick kiss. And there it is again: the pang of guilt for making Abby do things she wanted.

…

"Oh,"Sela looked up hearing Abby's familiar voice. "You're going out?"

She continued to do her make-up as she answered, "Yeah,"

"Oh," Abby said again, she turned and saw the girl with disappointed face.

"Did you need something?" Sela asked. Abby shook her head. Sela hid her annoyance, she didn't want to deal with this hesitant Abby. "Okay," she answered knowing full well that Abby wanted to say something, but she doesn't have time to squeeze it out of her.

She rolled her eyes when Abby opened her mouth again, she really hates when Abby is like this. Why can't she just spit it out? "Where are you off to?"

"The cast and crew of the show is throwing away Justin a birthday party tonight,"

"Oh," Abby said yet again. It took a lot of willpower for Sela not to snap at her. Abby is spoiling her party mood.

"I'll be going now," she bid, finding Abby sitting on the couch looking like a kicked puppy and she felt a little guilty for not feeling guilty about it.

…

Maybe it's the lack of familiar faces or maybe she's adjusting to this new crowd, either way, the party proved to be boring because a little over an hour in, Sela is already on her phone scrolling through social media.

There are only a handful of people she actually knows and she consciously tried to get off Justin's radar. She can tell he is trying to flirt with her and she is not flattered. In fact, she's annoyed, the thing between them are purely fanservice, she's quite sure that he knows that. Still, he kept making advances and there's absolutely no camera here. She felt super uncomfortable with him and she didn't want to embarrass him in his own birthday party so she decided to lose him in the crowd.

She opened her Facebook page and felt a little heavy seeing Facebook Memories bringing up something 3 years ago.

It's a photo she uploaded privately: a snugly picture of her and Abby in their couch. She remembers taking that picture and then cuddling up for a movie..they spent their 1st anniversary like that.

It must've been why she looked like _that. _She tasted guilt in her mouth and she suddenly wanted to go home to Abby.

Next thing she knew, she was outside the venue, waiting for a cab while still trying to book a Grab.

Sela jumped hearing a honk, she turned as a motorbike pulled up as the rider pulled up his helmet, revealing a familiar face, "Going home already?"

She tried to smile at Ruru, another newbie actor that is part of their show. "Yeah, I kinda need to get home," she felt a little confused when he turned off his bike's engine, did she give the impression that she was feeling chatty?

"Curfew?" he asked conversationally. Sela shook her head which made the guy smile knowingly, "Forgotten anniversary?" the startled look on her face made him chuckle.

"You know I don't have a boyfriend." she deadpanned, "It's also my best friend's birthday," she lied.

Ruru raised a brow, clearly doubtful but she pointedly ignored his suspicion and turned to her phone again. _Why can't I book a ride?!_

"Hop on," Ruru suddenly said.

"I beg your pardon?"

The actor lightly laughed, "Fancy choice of words," he said, "Anyway, look, Sela, no cabs will pass by around this area and I don't think you'll book a ride, too." he said, "Besides, no boyfriend will get mad about a little ride, correct?"

She looked down at her phone and saw it was past 11 in the evening. She only has a few minutes to celebrate this day with Abby. She looked at Ruru's waiting face and then looked down again on her phone, her app still looking for a driver.

_Oh, fuck it, _she thought as she motioned to the motorbike. Good thing she sported shorts inside her dress. She saw Ruru smirk as she hopped on.

…

The moment Ruru stopped in front of their complex, Sela get off the motorbike. She hastily mumbled a 'thank you' as she started to briskly walk in to the apartment complex.

She knew she was bad at sorry and apologizing—especially to Abby—and thinking about it, more than five years of knowing each other and four years into their relationship, this is the first time she ever thought of apologizing to Abby.

She was both surprised and worried when the door was open. The room was quiet but she can hear soft noises in Abby's room. The door was ajar and she easily peeked on what was happening.

The moment her eyes found what—or rather,_ who_—is in the room, Sela felt time slowed down. She can see Abby sitting on the floor of her room, her back is on her, but that wasn't where her attention is. It's on Rans—who is sitting in front of Abby.

Sela felt the anger washed through her seeing the cans of beer across the room but tried to stay calm and continue to watch as Rans awkwardly tried to comfort a crying Abby.

"The thing _issh_.."Sela blinked hearing Abby's slurred voice. "I _jussh _feel like I'm more into her than _sshe's _into me and it _shuucks _for me." she continued, "And sometimes, I think things will be _easshier_ for the both of _uhs_ if we aren't together,"

Abby's words cut like a knife, more so, because she knew it was true. Being reminded how hard it is for Abby being with her, she almost wanted to let go but the selfish part of her didn't want that. In this world she chose, Abby is one of the few things that actually make her happy and Sela didn't wanna lose her.

She knew for a fact that Abby is a light drinker was not surprised that the girl immediately passed out after pouring her heart out. Rans tried to make Abby comfortable, pulled a pillow from the bed and stretched out the girl's body.

Sela watched as Rans paused, giving her girl a longing look. She had always suspected that Rans had more than a thing for her girl but now she _knows_. This is the moment she faked a cough, subtly announcing her presence.

Rans immediately turned and saw her, "_Um_, hey, Sela, you're here," the girl greeted while standing up, she motioned to the passed out Abby, "Sorry, we kinda got carried away with the drinking." Rans reasoned out unnecessarily.

She lifted an eyebrow, "You don't look like you got carried away," she commented.

The girl shrugged, casually gathering her things, "She's the one who's in a _shitty_ relationship,"

That hit a nerve, she turned her eyes to the girl and it seemed like Rans knew exactly what she was talking about. The look on the other girl's face with her reaction gave the girl an opportunity to walk out of the room.

When Sela snapped back from her shock, she walked out to confront Rans, "What do you even mean by that? Did Abby tell you something?"

Rans gave her a look like she personally offended her, "Why would you even ask that? Look, if you even know anything about Abby, you'll know that didn't tell me anything." she said, "But it doesn't take a genius to find out, Sela."

Feeling the hostility, Sela scoffed, "You don't have to be so butt hurt about it, Francinne," she felt Rans' glare, "Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit a nerve?" she asked mockingly. "It doesn't take a genius to find out that you're in love with my girlfriend, Rans,"she mimicked. Sela felt sadistic feeling the pleasure seeing the frustration and hurt on the other girl's face, but she didn't care.

Shaking her head, Rans looked at her dead in the eye, "You don't deserve her,"

She scoffed, "And you do?" she chuckled sarcastically. Sela knew Rans is right, but that doesn't mean she would admit it, especially to this girl_, _"Look here, honey," she said venomously, "Abby is _mine_. So," she paused, "Back. Off." she said, as she stepped and leaning forward invading the other girl's space, it was an unconscious gesture, she supposed.

It somehow had the intended reaction of intimidating Rans since said girl backed a few steps yet the shorter girl's glare didn't waver. Once they're steady, Rans lightly shook her head before saying, "By the time Abby realizes she deserves better, I hope you'll be as strong as you seem to be right now,"

...

**"Well, you know, at first it was awkward, because as you probably know, Rans and I, we were not okay at that time." Abby continued to narrate.**

**Sela just watched Abby try to recall the vague story on how the two of them got together. "****_Hmm,_****" she hummed forking her dessert on the table, "Yes, that happened after the two of you kinda fell off," she added, casually nodding her head. "Speaking of that, I never really knew what exactly happened that time," she asked casually though she somehow knew this.**

**She turned her head to her plate on the table but she was watching Abby's reaction**

**"Oh," Abby said, Sela looked at her nonchalantly, wearing an innocent face. "We had a disagreement and it just happened," Abby said, "But well, that's all in the past,"**

…

Enjoying their day off by having a lazy day, Sela and Abby are on the couch in their usual position of the former's head on the latter's lap.

The TV is on, playing a random episode of The Office.

Sela laughed out loud on one particular punch line but was confused that she doesn't feel Abby laughing along, she looked up seeing the other girl on her phone.

Annoyed, she lifted her head off from her position, which the other girl immediately notice and turned her head to meet her eyes. "Wh—" Abby's words didn't finish because Sela suddenly grabbed the phone in her hand.

Her annoyance leveled up seeing Abby's screen, "What did I tell you about _her_?"

After their heated confrontation that night where Rans basically admitted to her that she likes Abby like that, she specifically told Abby to _stop_ talking to Rans.

Though loosely surprised by the defiant look on Abby's face, she was more surprised hearing what the girl had to say, "Sela, I told you, Rans is my friend. I don't tell you to stop talking to your friends,"

"You don't understand," Sela said, shaking her head, "Rans—"

"Look, not this again, Sela,"

"We already talked about this,"

"No, Sela, _we _didn't talk. It was _you _who talked and _you _didn't even gave me anything as to why are you telling me to stop talking to my friend,"

"Abby, we—"

"No, stop, Sela," Abby cut her off, "You don't hear me complain about you and that Justin guy, and I was gonna wait a better time to tell you this but, Rans and I got a gig for a Pride Month Campaign,"

"You—what?!"

"Don't worry, it would just be a shoot and there won't be interview for it. And even if there's an interview, I would just be an 'ally'. Don't look at me as if you'd think I'd do that," Abby said, looking more than annoyed, "I won't come out publicly without telling you, old fanservice will surely have more color if I did just that,"

Sela scoffed, she felt offended, "You think I'm worried about _that_?"

"Well, you care about that more than anything!" Sela was about to argue when Abby continued speaking, "That's the reason why you agreed to the baiting thing with Justin, right? Because it's _easier_,"

The unfamiliar resentment in Abby's eyes made Sela blink, "Abby, you know that's—"

"You know what, Rans is right," any apology Sela wanted to say got stuck in her throat hearing the other girl's name.

"Right about what?" she asked sharply.

"That this _is_ a shitty relationship,"

…

"_Ahhh," _downing her 4th shot, Sela exhaled. She was putting down her shot glass and was about to call out, "Another o—"

Her order was interrupted when someone grabbed the shot glass stopping it from hitting the bar table. Annoyed, she turned to look on her side where the owner of the interrupting hand was.

"Don't you think that's enough for tonight?" Ruru said as he smiled at her.

His smile reminded her of Abby's smile. So dazzlingly pretty. Drunk and irritated, Sela lifted her hand and mashed it onto Ruru's face, she didn't want to be reminded of Abby. "Stop smiling," she slurred.

She heard a chuckle from Ruru before he said, "Come on Ms. Guia, let's sit on a steadier seat," he said as she led her to a booth across the bar table. "Here,"

Sela lifted her head looking at the beer bottle in Ruru's hand. She looked at him lifting an eye brow, "Really?"

Ruru shrugged, "It's still early and you're already this wasted," he said putting the beer bottle on the table instead, "I don't think you're ready to come home yet, so take the beer instead it would stretch you pity party hours longer,"

She frowned at him, "I'm not having a pity party," she said collecting the beer bottle from the table and taking a swing.

"Oh?" Ruru asked with a hint of smile and sounding _very_ unconvinced.

This annoyed Sela even more, he's acting like how Abby would. "I'm pissed, okay?" she said, "And you're really not helping with being this annoying,"

Raising both hands in surrender, Ruru, "I don't really get how I'm being annoying but fine," but still with a hint of smile, which made her look at him with her brows together.

"You're acting like the person I'm pissed at,"

"Boyfriend trouble?"

Sela sighed, "More like girlfriend trouble," she mumbled to herself.

Ruru looked at her with wide eyes, "What?"

"Huh?" she asked back, she shook her head dismissing his question, "I told you before, I don't have a boyfriend," she snapped.

"Sorry, truth is I'm also pissed and you're proving to be a great distraction," Ruru suddenly said.

This made Sela blink, this made her realize that Ruru is out drinking alone. Had she been always this self-centered? Suddenly feeling sober, she asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ruru gave a restricted smile, showing his dimple. When will he stop reminding her of Abby? Goddammit.

"Well, you know about the movie we're making, right?" she nodded, "You know how much of asshole Justin could be, right?" she nodded again. "I just found out that his role was supposed to be offered to me but then he pulled some strings and now he has it." he said, "And no, I'm not mad about not getting the main role. I'm pissed because he's still the same ungrateful asshole that he is,"

Sela suddenly remembered something, "Wait," this made Ruru turn to look at her, "Weren't you and Justin childhood friends or something?"

A bitter smile, "Yeah, we were," he said, "He entered the business ahead of me.. I don't really know what happened,"

Silence reigned as they both quietly downed their drinks.

Few minutes later, Sela knew she was buzzed. She pulled out her phone and was annoyed not seeing any messages from Abby.

Before she put down her phone, a notification popped, Rans posted a picture (and yes, she had her notification on for Rans). She touched the notification and felt her blood rise up to her head seeing a picture of Abby sitting in a swing, looking the one taking the shot with a big smile on her face and her hand slightly lifted, probably trying to block the camera. _ATM. After dinner hangout _was the caption.

_She won't text me because she's with her_, she thought angrily. "She's not even bothered with the fight we had this morning," she unconsciously muttered to herself.

Sela was vaguely alarmed how angry she was feeling. She was so angry, she literally wanted to _hurt_ Abby. She groaned and heavily put down her phone on the table.

"What?" Ruru suddenly asked. She forgot he was even there.

However, seeing Ruru looking as fine as he is and how she somehow had been seeing Abby in him, in addition to the alcohol in her system, a clouded and angry mind, she suddenly _saw _Ruru. Without thinking, she leaned closer to him, and pulled him by his nape and crashed her mouth onto his.

Things quickly became heated as Ruru started to lean onto her, moments later, they were tangled on her side of the couch. When their mouths separated, the distance was only a breath apart, they were both panting but it was Ruru who spoke first, "You shouldn't kiss people when you're angry," he said.

All of a sudden, Sela found her senses. What is she doing? "I.." she drifted off, turned to look at Ruru, "I'm—"

The guy had a soft expression, shaking his head, "It's fine," he said, "This person must've been someone very special if you act out like this because of he—them,"

Noticing the slip up, alarm bells started to ring in Sela's head. "It' not—"

Ruru looked at her softly, "It's okay, Sela," he said, "But I think you should talk to this person instead of acting out like this in public,"

…

**"So," Sela started, "Coming out in an Instagram post, eh?"**

**Abby had a shy smile and a small blush, "I know, kinda extra, right?" Sela just gave a small smile, "It was actually Rans' idea," Abby shared, "I mean, we're not relevant enough to ask for a TV interview just to come out,"**

**Sela paused in her eating looking at Abby, "You mean Rans told you to come out on your first anniversary?"**

**The defensive look on Abby's face was quick, "I was ready to come out even during ****_that _****time and you know it,"**

**She gave Abby a sharp look, "You got tired, didn't you?"**

**Abby looked at her just as intensely, "****_That's _****not the reason, and we both know it,"**

**The truth of Abby's words hit her, softening her next rebut, "I know, I'm sorry." she said softly, "But you gotta admit, that it's also a part of the pile of reasons why you finally walked away,"**

**A sardonic laugh from Abby, "Sela," she called, "****_I _****didn't walk away, ****_you_**** pushed me away,"**

…

Sela decided that she should let her intoxication pass and go home to Abby the next morning instead. It was still early in the morning when she came in to their home and she was half surprised seeing Abby already awake in the kitchen.

"Hey, good morning," she greeted awkwardly.

The pounding in her chest was immediately there when Abby stayed quiet. And when Abby looked up to her with a very serious face, she was beyond alarmed.

"Where were you?" there's something cold in the way Abby is talking and behaving and Sela didn't like being on the receiving end of this.

"Out," she answered vaguely.

She was confused when she heard Abby drily chuckle. "Out," she echoed, "That's nice,"

Sela hated the tension, so she shook her head, walking closer to Abby, "Look, Abby,"

Abby motioned her hand in front of her stopping her from getting close, "No, look, Sela," she said, "If you wanted to break up, you could just it to my face, you don't need to—"

"—what?" she interrupted. Where is this coming from?

Suddenly Abby dropped her phone on the table, when Sela looked at it, shame and regret enveloped her. A news article of her and Ruru's drunken lip locking.

"Why are you doing this, Sela?" Abby asked, "Do you hate me that much that you can't just break up with me directly? Am I that irrelevant to you?"

Sela suddenly felt defensive. "Stop it,"

"I _know_ that somehow, you genuinely cared for me but this?" Abby continued, sniffing, "What did I ever do to you?" the girl looked at her, red rimmed eyes.

"Stop it," she called out again. The guilt and regret is choking Sela and she desperately wanted Abby to stop talking and stop looking at her like that.

Abby laughed with disdain, "It's not even with that Justin guy," she said, shaking her head, still chuckling mockingly.

"It's not what you think, Abby,"

It must've been the wrong words to say because this made the anger surface, "—**then what is it?!**" Abby yelled, "Huh?What logical explanation you have for this?"

Guilt stopped her from talking. She kissed Ruru because in her mind, she really, genuinely wanted to hurt Abby, and now she did, the only thing she feelsis regret.

She tried to open her mouth to say something, _anything_, but nothing came out.

Abby scoffed, "You felt horny and he just happened to be there?"

Hearing the explicit and hurtful words, Sela looked up at Abby's face, she immediately recognized the ugly sadistic expression on the girl's she do this?

"Abby, you.." she started to say, either something in her face must've change or she realized what she said because Abby suddenly had a softer expression, too. How did Abby become like this?

"Just tell me it's nothing. You were drunk and confused," Abby begged. "You wouldn't do that to me, right? You love me, don't you?"

Sela wanted to comply and lie to Abby, tell her that what happened last night was nothing. But she knew it wasn't nothing. Everything that happened last night, she did in her right mind. She remembers everything, she remembers seeing the photo Rans posted and she remembers being blindly jealous and insecure, she remembers being angry and she remembers deciding she wanted to hurt Abby and so, she did.

She's not sure she wanted Abby to know that. She didn't want Abby to know that she is an awful person. She didn't want Abby to see her as this terrible person that she knew she is.

"Abby stop it," she called, "Stop being this pathetic," Sela felt her chest tighten as she looked at the wounded look on Abby's face, "I don't have to explain the things I do to you because, newsflash, Abby: we never actually got back together!"

…

**Seeing Sela's expression, Abby elaborated, "I always thought that you're a terrible liar, Sela," she said, "I knew you were lying that day," she paused, "Oh, maybe 'lying' is arguable, because what you said about not getting back together is technically not a lie. It's just that you didn't want to tell me what actually happened between you and Ruru that night." **

**Hearing her, Sela suddenly turned away. "You..you don't know that,"**

**This made Abby smile bitterly, "I loved you long enough to mean it when I say I know you, Sela,"**

…

"I know she's lying. She wouldn't do that to me. I've loved her long enough to know that," Abby said as she cried, sitting on Rans' couch.

Rans just looked at her with a hard expression as she handed her a glass of water. "'By, don't you think you're giving her too much credit?"

Abby looked at Rans like she offended her. "I know her,"

The look she gave made the said girl raise her hands in mock surrender, "I'm just saying,"

"You don't know her like I do, Rans,"

"I think I know enough about Sela,"

Rans' words quickly dawned on Abby, "What did you just say?"

"What?" it seems like Rans didn't notice her own slip up.

"I never told you who she is," Abby said before looking up at Rans who seemed to finally realize her blunder, "How long have you known?"

"Abby," Rans called out, "I'm sorry, okay? But I work with you two, it's not that hard to figure it out,"

This made Abby look at Rans with a new found panic, "Does that mean the others think that?"

"I.. guess so?"

The older girl felt distressed. She ran her hand through her hair exhaling loudly. "Shit," she muttered to herself. "Shit, shit,"

"Hey," Rans called soothingly, but Abby doesn't seem to notice her. "Hey," she called again, grabbing Abby's face to look at her. "What is it?"

Abby gently pulled Rans' hands away off her face, "If other people even remotely think of us like that, it would jeopardize her career," she said, almost seeming like she was muttering to herself, "She worked so hard for this," she said, looking at Rans' eyes this time.

"Abby, stop it," Rans said, "Stop thinking about her for a second and look at yourself," she continued, sounding livid, "You look pathetic," she paused, "..and for what? For Sela? You don't deserve this. She doesn't deserve you!"

With a deep frown, Abby looked at Rans saying, "Don't talk like you know her, like you know _us_,"

Rans chuckled dryly, "Oh, but I do, Abby, I do," she bitterly smiled at the girl in front of her, "You love her more than she loves you and she cares about her career more than she does to you." she said, "What? Hit a nerve?"

She knew Rans was only trying to help, but the shame she felt was heavy,and it was easier to be angry. So she looked at Rans heatedly, "I think this conversation is over,"

"Wait, that didn't came out right,"

Abby just shook her head at her and wordlessly stood up from the couch, leaving Rans looking like she wanted to apologize but also wanted to keep her pride.

In the end, Rans let her leave.

…

**Abby saw how Sela was about to open her mouth to say something but her phone suddenly rang. Both of them looked down and saw Rans' contact photo.**

**A part of her wanted to decline the call and finally have this closure with Sela but guilt was bitter in her mouth just thinking about rejecting her girlfriend's call to continue this conversation with her ex. She slightly shook her head and grabbed her phone.**

**"Hey, baby," she greeted, sneaking a quick look at Sela.**

**"Hey," Rans greeted on the other line. Abby immediately felt something was off, she was about to ask this when her girlfriend continued, "Hey, listen, are you still out with your friend?"**

**The inquiry made Abby pause, she had a feeling that lying would do her no good. She turned to look at Sela across the table and excused herself, "Um, baby, listen," she said turning away from their table, "The truth is," she suddenly felt nervous, "..the truth is I'm with Sela right now," she said guiltily taking a peek at the said girl.**

**A pause on the other line, before she heard a sigh, "I know,"**

**…**

After her non-break up with Sela and her still-unresolved disagreement with Rans, Abby felt suffocated staying with 48G, that's why when she was asked about renewal of her contract, she told her manager and the executives the truth: that's she actually thinking of taking a break or transferring agency.

She was in the last day of the shoot for the Pride Feature when Rans suddenly came to her.

"Hey," the girl greeted a bit awkwardly.

Abby didn't know how she would react. This is the first time one of them tried to talk after the fight they had over a month ago.

Looking at the painstakingly uncomfortable look on Rans' face Abby decided that hostile is not the way to go. "Hey," she greeted back. The relived sigh from the girl was subtle but she noticed it, she motioned the empty space beside her which visibly gave Rans a more relaxed look.

There was a moment of silence before the girl started talking, "Hey, listen," she turned and looked at her. Abby was confused and a bit worried with the concealed panic she saw in her eyes. "I just want to ask you yourself. I heard something.."

She instantly had an idea what this is about, she asked the management to keep confidential, but it seems like somehow, her things still managed to leak. She sighed and looked at Rans. "I guess you heard about my plans of non-renewal?"

She watched as a frown made its way to Rans' face, eyes glassy. "T-those are still just plans, r-right?"

Her heart ached hearing the vulnerability in Rans' usually brash voice. She painfully smiled reassuringly at her friend which somehow gave the girl a relieved look, "I'm sorry, Rans, they gave me time 'to think about it' but I'm concrete sure I won't be staying in 48G anymore,"

"If this is about the last time, I'm sorry, okay? I regret saying those things to you,"

Abby sighed, "I'm not gonna lie, it's somehow one of the reasons but it's not entirely everything,"

Rans stayed looking at her before sighing, "It's about _her, _isn't it?"

"Yes and no," she answered truthfully, "This is more for me. I need this for myself. 48G just feels suffocating now,"

**…**

**"I'm sorry," Abby didn't know what else to say.**

**"It's okay,"**

**Guilt was bitter in her mouth, "Rans.."**

**She heard a chuckle from the other line, "It's okay, I feel like you need this, ****_we _****need this."**

**Another dose of guilt washed through her. "I'm sorry, Rans,"**

**"It's okay," she heard her girlfriend say, "We're okay,"**

…


End file.
